sat·is·fy

I am a goal oriented person. I love to achieve goals in my life, and it has led me to do some pretty cool stuff. It has also led me to mow over people like weeds, mess up a lot of things, and led me astray. 

 

Regardless of what I've been able to accomplish I'm never ready to stop. Before I reach one goal my brain has already moved on to the next. Even as a child I would climb one tree and as I reached the top I'd be scoping out a bigger and better tree to conquer.

 

All this was well and good until it wasn't. In my late twenties I began to notice that I was constantly feeling depleted. I never felt satisfied in my life, my ministry or my relationship with God. I started to feel a frustration that I couldn't control. I felt like I would never get "there". Then God began to show me that "there" doesn't exist, at least not here on earth. Where I thought "there" was was really superficial and meaningless compared to where God wants me to go- His goals for my life. You see I was addicted to achievement. I was addicted to the high that I would get from accomplishing things but as soon as I would complete one goal I needed to find another keep the high going. I still struggle with this everyday.

 

There's nothing wrong with being goal-oriented but it's easy for the goal to become your God instead of God being your goal. How can you tell the difference? Well, when God is your goal you are left feeling satisfied. You don't question your value based on what you've accomplished- you know your value. If the goal is your God then you never get satisfied. There's a hunger for more accomplishments, more recognition. You feel your worth is based on what you can accomplish. You can't stop to savor the blessings and the wins because you feel an unhealthy urgency rushing you to find the next goal to accomplish.

 

There's a deep dissatisfaction that comes with this. You begin to envy other's accomplishments and scurry to catch up. You want to become a better mom, dad, business guy, pastor, whatever but you never seem to be able to perform as well as you like. You begin to seek what's bigger and better; cars, houses, church buildings, money, etc. but you always are left feeling like you don't stack up so you seek more. Now there's nothing wrong with having goals but what I'm talking about is seeking goals because you need them to become satisfied. If you need more money, a bigger car, better kids, nice house, or whatever to be happy then you will never be happy. Jesus is satisfaction. If you don't feel satisfied with your life than you don't need more of anything, except Jesus.

 

I could probably write a book on the many harsh lessons God has had to give me on this subject (and I'm sure there's more in my future) but instead I'll just say this prayer and encourage you to look at your own life and find the areas where the goals are beating out God in the race for your attention. "God forgive me for my lack of gratitude. I'm sorry when I make my stupid human goals bigger than you in my life. Sometimes I struggle to be satisfied with my life where it is and I lose focus. Please make yourself greater in my life than any superficial goal or desire I could have. Jesus, what you accomplished are the only accomplishments that will ever really matter. Remind me of this when I get puffed up on my own works. Thank you for giving me the wonderful gifts in my life; my family, my church, my friends, and your endless supply of mercy and grace. I love you. I need you more than I need anything- be my everything. amen"